Thanksgiving was an eat-fest. Went to my uncles (very awkward) and then to Pete's house (not that awkward):). Well I am pretty thankful for having Pete in my life♥, having my family, certain friends. One thing I thought a lot about though; it's weird how people from high school, people I don't talk to anymore or barely did when I was still there are chatting with me on facebook as if we were close.

It's weird. And I was thinking, maybe they're reaching out kinda, like most people nowdays bail, A LOT, and they just need a new friend. Which, hey I'm all for it and everything, it's just weird how I roamed the halls with these people, did crazy things like wearing bows on my head the week before Christmas break, and skipping down the halls after 4th lunch, and being tickle attacked by Draine, Bannon, and Cash. It's like "oh, hey, yeah I was that crazy girl.
But it's whatev. They're nice, and I did in a way grow with them, so I don't mind.

It's just funny how my old friends are such dwellers. Like they never do anything fun or exciting with their lives. It's always the same routine, classes, homework, sleep; then repeat.
That's way too bland, like coffee.
Yup you guys are all gross tasting coffee. haha.

But seriously. Then I get "you changed" crap. Uh HELLO! If you guys knew me at all, you'd know I like to do things, break the routine, break the rules, LIVE A LITTLE.
Hey it's not my fault you guys just dwell and do nothing. I like to be different. and that's probably why I have the life I have and why I'm so happy.

Anyways.

WHO'S EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?! :O
I am.
Yeah, I like the presents, I don't care about the "that's all christmas is now" speech, get over itt.
But I also like the feeling, love-ness, and the snow. (:
♥

You are all that I know.

-Stephy

I saw New Moon at midnight (like a REAL Twilight fan) with my boyfriend and Anthony. It was an AMAZING movie, and I had a lot of fun :), despite the fact that I found out Ant loves me. Was a little weird, but eh, I just want to forget it.
It's not like I'm gonna go for him, I'm happy where I am and I wanna stay where I am (:

Friday night me & Pete got our hair done. He cut all his off! I like it a lot, he looks cuter that way :)
I got more highlights, a darker red. I like it too. :D

We also got our tickets for Red and Saving Abel for this Friday, I can't wait! It's our anniversary that night too :)

I can't believe it's almost Christmas already. This year went by so fast, it seems like yesterday was New Years Eve. Oh well, I'm excited! I love Christmas, even though it's all about the presents now, I don't care. I don't like the hole Christian part though, eh I try to stay away from that as much as possible. I just like the feeling, it's cold out, make hot chocolate with marshmellows, and all the love. It's like an extra long Valentine's day. Me like a lottt ♥

Times like this, I love being me. I love that I have something no one else has. I love that I'm loved. It feels really nice, and like for the first time since forever, I'm meant to be some place. I feel superior for the first time haha.


-Stephy

I'm good at keeping things to myself. I like to sometimes, it just seems easier to deal with that way. Maybe it was because I'm an only child and I never had someone that close to tell my dark secrets to. Whatever it may be, there's certain things that happened I'm keeping inside and forgetting. Moving on day to day pretending it never happened, and with pretending it just disappears over time. And that's the way I want it.

Pete and me went shopping yesterday and it was fun (:
I spent today with him too.
You're an artist; I'm a silly jerk.
I think that dynamic could work,
So work it.
I have a total crush on you, baby,
And I can't let it go, oh no.

Well duh, lol. I love him more than anything.
But I love that song.
Say Anything is just amazing ♥ I really wanna see them again when they come back to RI.
That would 3 times lol. Awesome sauce.

It must be your skin, I'm sinking in.
Must be for real, 'cause now I can feel. ♥


-Stephy

Whenever a girl kinda flips her top, people think of that as "she's on her period." No, I'm not. Maybe I've just about had enough of rude, excuse making, humor-less, God-obsessing, stupid people. Maybe you people just annoy the fuck out of me everyday. And I don't care what you think of me "Oh she doesn't accept me, she's not a good friend" blah blah blah. You people are the worst.

- If you love God, I don't care. Go love God away from me and not continuously on facebook. Thank you.
- If you're a rude dumbass, do not come near me or talk in my general direction. I will slap you.
- If you are so pathetic to the point where you cannot take a joke, which is sadly most of my friends, don't talk to me. I don't care if you can't take a joke, I can, and I'll crack jokes about anything you like.
- If you make excuses for just about your entire existence. Then just eat 50 cheeseburgers and die from a heart attack. I'm sure no one will miss you.
- If you are too stupid and can't understand the English language, when your native language IS English. Shut up, no one wants to listen to you babble.
- If you can not get over the fact that you still do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend, stop whining. Maybe if someone sewed your mouth shut a girl/boy would find you attractive.

I can't hold it in anymore and be nice. I can't.
I'm generally nice to everyone, but you people are cracking me, and I can be a nightmare.
Beware.

I saw Saw 6 tonight, is was awesome! I went after working 2 hours, haha, with Anthony and Pete.
Twas fun :) we walked to Thayer and just walked around aimlessly. It felt like summer again, only a lot colder. - more Romantic I guess.

I got the flu shot Thursday so I'm all weak and sick-ish. Eghh. But Pete was with me all day and it was nice :) I had lots of soup and it was soup-tastic. :D

Tuesday is Pete's birthday and I'm getting his present on Sunday at the mall. I made him something I think he'll really like too. :)

I got the whole new Paramore album, and it's so good!! I found my new favorite song. :DD

All I wanted was you.
It's like how I always wanted a good guy with everything I wanted, and of course now I have it. But it -reminds me of my ideal perfect guy for me, and well which is Pete. So I picture myself 2-years-ago-ghost screaming it. It's pretty intense lol.

Holding my breath, walking alone with you.
I get to hear you're voice again.
If this is a dream I hope you stay with me.
Stay with me, please stay with me.

-Stephy

This weekend was a whole bundle of magical fun (:

I worked on Friday, it wasn't all that busy but steady enough to keep me going back and forth at the same pace. Some old couple was talking to me asking me about desert, and asking about me. I think they knew my mom >.> ah well.
After work I went home and made myself some yummy mac&cheese. I ate too much and it gave me a stomach ache ): but it was so good lol.

Saturday was spent with my baby. We watched Buffy at his house then went to Trails To Terror, where I screamed and grabbed him a lot. Lol. Then I slept over and that was super nice (:

Today I woke up and went home to take a shower, get back in my pj's and study my ass off for my East Asia test tomorrow. Then I watched the Pat's game, aka the massacre, and then Tool Academy.

I'm really pretty fantasically incredibly amazingly happy. Because there is a need for all those words.

If you could only see the way she loves me.
Then maybe you would understand, why I feel this way about our love and what I must do.
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says...
When she says she loves me.

-Stephy

So forever, that's realllly long.

Well, I'm not 18 anymore. Good, it was getting annoying to say "Hi, I'm 18, no you may not rape me."

I got lots of gifts (: My baby got me a camera, Edward Cullen cut out (life size), A cherry wallet, Rescue Me season 4, and a new bag (:
Then I got some moneys from my family, which I have been spending on new clothes, :D.

Well parent wise, my dad think it's cool to hunt me down for financial aid forms for either RIC or CCRI, don't know which one I wanna go to yet. Yeah it's annoying, but whatever. I want a damn car, and when I get one, I'll be little miss nice Stephy. ::throws up:: haha.

I'm pretty happy though (: a lot happier than I used to be, at least.
Things are just going, prefect. ♥


-Stephy

I hate her. I want her to die. I hate the way she's manipulating my friends. She's not a good person, she's the worst of her kind. She deserves nothing. She is nothing. She's got guts to come here.

I had to get that out.

Well I woke up this morning from a very stressful day yesterday. Too much happened in one for me to handle, and I fell apart. I'm just happy I have my friends and my boyfriend. That's all I want to have and all I care to have.
So I have a stuffy nose, and sore throat. I took some Tylenol this morning, that helped a little but I'm still stuffy and my throat isn't as bad but it's all scratchy. Eeek. :/ Lack of sleep probably didn't help either.

I keep having to sneeze...then I don't. I hate that.

Parent's are fighting again. Ugh this will never just end. 4 years now? Reallllly.
Is this really needed?

Well, your sex is on fire do do do do do.

All I know really is that I'm trying to keep myself together. I'm "strong" and I've been through enough to make me strong enough to take things like this. But how long do I have to be strong for? Months, years... I'm a tough cookie, but not that tough.

... ok this is way too serious...

My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch.
He tells me everyday.
He says "Man I really gotta lose my chick in the worst kind of way."
I like singing that. I can do it really good. When I have my voice!


-Stephy

Graphic design bads: Long, MAC's, tons of supplies to buy, all older people in it.
Graphic Design goods: Working with Indesign CS4, Photoshop CS4, get to make pretty things!

16th century lit bads: No one I know, lots of reading.
16th century lit goods: nice teacher, easy assignments, not that boring.

Math 0500 bads: everything.
Math 0500 goods: nothing.
::self explanatory::

Dropped Chem. Still waiting to go to my history on monday.
Joy joy!

So I like seeing Sydney and my cousin a lot, I missed them way too much for words.
Kinda shocked of how many less people talk to me though, it's not much like last semester when I had like 2149795 people talking to me at once. Now it's more like just hey's and some conversation. Ah well.

I've been up for 2 hours applying to places for a job. Macy's, FYE, Kohl's, Avon, Pizza Hut, Target. PLEASEE GIVE MEEEE ONEEE!
Avon is a work at home kinda thing, which makes things so much easier, so hopefully I get something like that. FYE would be pretty cool too. So much Twilight stuff!
I kinda don't want to work at the restaurant every week, it's kinda a burden and it's all far and stuff. >.>

Current injuries on my body:
Burn from my straightener on my ringer finger.
Cut from a wooden chair on my other ring finger.
Blister on right ankle.
Glass cut on my left heel.
Mosquito bite on my cheek.
& a few bruises here and there.

I'm pretty banged up. :/


I can be so silly :)


-Stephy

Don't ask about the subject line, it was a random thought that just popped into my head.
Like...butterflies?

Today (technically) is the last day of summer. HELLLOOOO AUTUMN, my favvy :).
So coming soon:
-my birthday
-a whole bunch of other birthday's
-Pete's birthday
-Halloween!
& Halloween only means one thing. Going to lots & lots of scary places. :DD
I think 'm gonna be a slutty witch with vampire fangs. Sounds, interesting, no?

And that also means November 20th is just getting closer and closer!

But anyways, now starts the putting away summer clothes and bringing out the hoodies and jeans. ♥ It's such a long process, "does this still fit?" "I never wear this anyways." Blah blah blah. Why can't we just have magic, things would be so much less stressful and time consuming.

I went to my aunts house yesterday(I guess you could say because it's past midnight) and ate some food with Pete (and I know at some point within the next few days he'll be reading this so :p.). I like the fact that she's my godmother, cause I get along with her as if she was my own mom. I'm just glad it wasn't like my auntie Julie who I never see or talk to.

Speaking of parents and such, I gotta call my dad in a few days to give him the total for my books and get money from him. Oh the joy. I usually hate asking for money from him, but I don't really anymore, he should be taking care me, he never does. Plus the fact that Beth "hates" when he spends any money on me. Gold digger.

Umm, hmm.. ::happy thoughts, happy thoughts::

Lalalalalalove you (you'll know when you read this (: ♥


-Stephy

I cleaned my room (first time in about 3 weeks). It looks nice for a change. Of course I'll just end up throwing clothes around over the next few days making it an un-walk-able area again.
Oh well..

After all that, I went to walmart to pick up a backpack, jeans, and a card for Anthony. Ok, I know walmart is all evil and whatnot, but my backpack was $9. Every where else they're like $10-$20. So me is happy that they're evil (:

Then I went to Pete's house to relax, watch Buffy, and eat. Relaxing = good.

As far as my computer status, I need to do my cousin's play list, get Microsoft office from Scott, and get Photoshop from Pete. So we're kinda getting there. Photoshop I won't have for a few weeks, at best. But everything else is going great with this beautiful machine.
I tried out the webcam to see how it looks, it's crystal clear, picture perfect. O.O

I honestly can't wait for school to start, I've been craving to go to my Graphic Design class since I signed up. It sounds like so much fun!

Anyways, it's my Brother's birthday today and he's having a party. Can't wait to see his annoying-crying-every-second-of-the-day girlfriend. Sorry, but I just hate girls like that, yuck. Is there really a need to cry because your significant other is hanging out with two guy friends, and 1 girl? And totally flip shit? No. There's not. I hate her. lol.

I was sitting on my computer like 20 mins ago, and I was saying to myself "hey, I kinda feel like ranting right now about absolutely nothing for no reason at all."
Soo HERE I AM!!


I'm sorry but when did everyone start "loving" god, and jesus? It's like a new fad on Facebook to write in all the status updates that you "love" jesus.
I honestly don't understand it. Maybe cause I hate the Catholic chruch with all it's lying and scandals, but I don't know.
I kinda have my own personal religion. I believe there's a high power, but we're not meant to know what it is, or what happens when we die. We're just souls, and our soul goes where it wants. Like ghosts. I BELIEVE IN GHOSTS.
But anyways, I don't know why that's the new fad, it kinda weirds me out. If you love jesus so much, go back in time and marry him.
No offense to anyone, I just really don't like "god."

I think I just ranted myself out, haha.


-Stephy

Well I just got a new laptop. It's an Acer 5335. & it's beautiful!!
I'm totally in love with it. :D
It has webcam ::dances::

So for the past day, I've been putting all my music, pictures, and programs all back on this new computer, which has been taking FOREVER! But it's all worth it.

School starts back up on Wednesday, yay! I get to see my cousin & Sydney everyday (:
Psyched!

I went to the Patriot's game last night with Pete. It was pretty awesome. We kick GIANTS butt!
Not until the second quarter, but hey at least we won. Eli Manning, and Peyton Manning for that matter, anger me. A lot. I just cannot stand either one. They suck. And Peyton cries when he loses against us. HAHA :p

Tomorrow is rest day, thank god.


-Stephy

So the last two days were spent with Pete at his house.
I slept over on Tuesday, watched him play Dead Rising. & watched a lot of Rescue Me (:
Then yesterday we spent pretty much the whole day sleeping in, took a shower together, and just relaxed. It was really nice (:
Then last night we went to his mom's salon to get our hair done. He got his cut short-long-ish, it's wicked sexy (; pics are on my facebook & myspace.
I got mine highlighted a light brown-red. It looks awesome! And not to mention she gave me the new Paul Mitchell Pro straightener, for free!
I love his mom! lol

Today I'm getting a new laptop from my dad. All I know is that it's a Dell. So I'm realllly excited!

My life has been going really good, I couldn't be happier :D


-Stephy

So summer's coming to an end. Soon :(
Nothing really big happened.
I went to Canobie Lake Park for Krystal's birthday a few weeks ago.
Been to EVERY waterfire so far.
I'm going to Six Flags next week, thankfully (:

Desperately waiting for a car. & money for a new laptop.
My disc drive is dead. Sad face :(
And it's gonna be out the window very soon. Literally.

OhOH! I work again! lol Bus girl...again...for my grandpa's NEW restaurant...again.
No change there.
It's been so hard to find a regular non-family job. Oh well...

So school in the fall is gonna kick my ass. I have morning & night classes. Which means I will die in homework, papers, and blegh!

Been with Pete everyday, which has been great :) :).
BIG happy facee!

Frame by frame we begin to change skeletons and robot brains.
She found a book that writes itself, that plays it all upon a stage,
Over and over again, over and over again,
Where is the end?


-Stephy

4th of July was awesome.
My dad had a party and me & Pete went to it, ate some food, went for a walk. It was a gorgeous day! Then later we met up with Candace, Shane, and Lauren to go watch the fireworks on the parkway. They were amazing fireworks, not as good as EP's, but pretty close. After that was over we all went to the water fire. We sat on the grass next the waterplace restaurant, and it was so romantic. :) Then after a little while we all went home, Pete drove me home of course and we stayed in his car until 5 am talking. It was the most romantic day I have ever had. :DD

Monday I laid on and tanned all day and went in the pool. Pete came over and went for a quick swim, then we went out to eat with Anthony, his gf and her firends, and Seth. It was pretty nice. :) Then after we went back to Seth's house and went skinny dipping in the reservoir lol. It was a lot of fun! My first time ever doing that. Then me and Pete came back to my house and he gave me a back massage and he massaged my scalp. It felt sooo good! So unbelievably relaxing!

He gave me another one tonight, oh my god, it gets better every time!!

Bur during all this I realize how lucky I am to have someone like him. He's nothing like any of my other boyfriends. He actually took me out on a real date, walks me to my door, opens doors for me. He's amazing, & I fell for him, hard. <3


-Stephy

Switching to Verizon this week, going on a family plan with my Daddy. Which means, I'll have a new number. So ask for it :)

I'm kinda lonely....



Remember me, she said smiling.
Write my name somewhere safe.
Touch and taste.
Fades with space.
I'll never be who you'll dream.


-Stephy

My aunt got married, I'm so happy for her :)

The whole day I was pretty much thinking about what my wedding would be like. I want to have mine at a park next a beach, summer, at the exact time the sunsets I want to say "I do." I want candles EVERYWHERE. I think it's perfect. :)


-Stephy

I drove again with my Dad today. I drove to Circut city, practiced parking, aced it (: Then when back to Citizen's Bank in Riverside, parked, not that bad. Then went to Shaw's, parked, aced it (:
I love that I'm doing so good. :D

I figured because I'm such a good daughter, I'd do something to help my Mom out.
I took the Sharp Vac in my basement and cleaned all the floors, rugs, in both rooms. I know if she did it, it would take an entire day, along with her working. Save her the time & energy. (:

Friday night me, Jay, Cam, & Maggie went bowling all night (: That was soooo much fun!
I love bowling, even though we suck lol. :P

So I'm a little confused about what to do with these songs sitting on my computer for someone else, who by the way never talks to me. I want to delete them, & I should. It's my computer & deleting them will be a nice big "Thank You" for never being there, when your supposedly a "best friend."
Jay says not to delete them just yet. I think I should wait another week, then if there's nothing, I'll delete them.
I'm not gonna be the bank that gives you money when you want it anymore. Sorry.

Well I should start working on my paper for Marriage & Family. It's due December 3rd. Uh oh :X

Tiger ♥♥♥!!


-Stephy

For Christmas I asked Jay to get me Photoshop.
The other night I had a dream that he get me a promise ring instead.
When I woke up I reminded him to look at school to see if they had it.
That night we got into a big fight. We both said things out of anger that we didn't mean, & never would mean. Something weird, but really cute happened.
He was telling me he thinks this is it, this could be the way he wants to spend the rest of his life.
Kinda weird that I dream it, while we both feel it huh?

I thought the thought of giving my life to someone would be a scary moment, a big decision, & an unsure feeling. I was wrong... I feel the total opposite.
I mean I don't want to get married now, but just thinking about it now. & thinking about it is making me very happy.

I love him ♥


-Stephy

I see things, just about everything working out for the better of me. It's shocking for it to all be happening at once, but it's giving me more confidence & make me a lot happier.
I've been kinda down about stuff. About friends who I had in high school, who have moved on with their life's and don't talk to me much anymore or try to get together with me. I felt like I only had Jay & Lauren, who is in Maryland for college. I felt alone & not myself at all. Very Anti-Stephy.

Now... I see my Dad stepping back into my life, helping me to learn to drive, talking to me more, goofing on people with me. Very much like he used to. & I'm loving every bit of it. Not to mention this confidence is helping to drive a lot better than I used to last year. I'm pretty good at it.
-I see me & Jay improving the fire in our relationship♥. I feel like we've both improved in our flaws & made more room for the love instead of the fight.
-I see me & my Mom getting along a lot better. I've been spending a lot of time with her & I think she's starting to learn that I'm more responsible & she's taking the whole big 18 thing well.
-I see my grades improving in school, from 80's to 90's. Improving my GPA & it's making me excited & boosting my confidence level.
-I see that moving away from Riverside will show me who really wants to be friends with me, who is willing to take the time to call me & make plans with me. The availability factor that "I'm here in Riverside" won't be there anymore. & I think it'll make my relationships with Jay, friends, & my Dad a lot stronger, that is if they want to have anything to do with me (Obvi Jay & my Dad do lol.)

I feel a lot better about myself and what surrounds me. I'm comfortable (:

10 months on Monday (:
I love you so much ♥

-Stephy