Stephy.

Pre-Christmas. Pre-2010.

2009-12-23T05:50:07Z

Top 10 favorite things of this year:
1. I met and fell in love with Pete. ♥
2. I got a lot of new friends.
3. I got closer with my family.
4. I got a life, lol.
5. I was given my first ever promise ring (:
6. I got to know how to get to these place in Johnston and Warwick.
7. I got my license.
8. I got a new laptop.
9. Even though it doesn't show, I've gotten more confident with my looks.
10. I believe I had the best birthday of all my 19 birthdays.

I can honestly say this year started pretty crappy. I had a horrible boyfriend that cared more about himself than anything else. I had just moved to Johnston and had no friends.The only people I hung out with was my aunt and my two cousins who are basically my sisters. I spent almost everyday going over their house and playing on the Wii and going on the treadmill. Other than that I barely ever left my house.
But then things started to change, I met Grady and he brought me over to the Magic sanctuary tables where I met Seth, Anthony, Mike, Simeon, Pete, and John. I started hanging out with these guys everyday and they became the best of friends. I fell in love with Pete, and he fell in love with me. And we started our funny start to the ending of my relationship with the horrible boyfriend and to start one with him.
Our first date was so nerve wrecking, but it was the first first date I've ever been on and it was a lot of fun. The first kiss was a miss at first, classic, then when it hit it was amazing.
Then I started hanging out with John and Devan and we had some fun times driving around to nowhere and back. Going to the beach in May and going to find Bambi. Calling each other fatty's and having food eating contests in pizza hut.
From then it went to hanging out with Seth and Anthony almost everyday. Staying over their houses really late and playing video games and goofing on each other. My two best friends.
Then I was able to go to Pete's house and meet his family. And ever since have been going there almost everyday.
Then started school where at first there was some struggles, but they soon past. I met even more people and I got to see my cousin everyday and make fun of his stupidity. I played super smash everyday and got really good with Kirby and started to kick my boyfriend's but.
And now I live everyday with the happiness of being with my boyfriend and having fun with him. It never gets boring or gets old. It's perfect.

- That was my year of 2009.

Merry Christmas*

-Stephy

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

2009-12-20T07:06:12Z

The dear blizzard started about 4 hours late. Stupid weather people. But it's coming down pretty hard. It looks bright though.

I got my shopping done today. I only got stuff for my mom, dad, and Pete. I figure those are the only three I can afford to get things for so that works for me.

I just got off the phone with my boyfriend about 2 hours ago, and for some reason a weird thought started floating around me: What would I do if I ever lost him?
I tried to think really hard. I've had a lot of big important first's with him and I don't think I could let go if I had to. It would be too hard just to say goodbye and never see him again or just have to be enemies. It was easy to do that with other people because the meaning with them wasn't this strong or big.

I think the only things I can see myself doing is crying and just staring at nothing. I wouldn't be able to eat, drink, sleep. It's that powerful.
And it's not like I haven't been through that whole trip of leaving someone, I have a lot, but this would be a lot different. I would care more.
This time I put myself there more, I gave more than I ever did. And I probably didn't before because I felt like it was going to end anyways and it wasn't worth it and because I didn't have to. People usually only liked me for the way I look, the way I talk, and what I like. It wasn't like I had to give them much more than what they had in front of them. I didn't have to give them my heart because they didn't deserve it and they would have broken it anyways, so what was the difference.

But now that I have gave my entire self, I feel like if this was to ever end, I wouldn't ever be the same.
So maybe, it won't end. Maybe it never will. Maybe this was where I needed to be.

Oh, it's everything.

-Stephy

Oh, it's everything.

2009-12-19T08:31:53Z

School is finally over, and what else would I be doing but staying up until 4 in the morning and having a blast everyday.

So Thursday I had a dinner/party thing to go to with Pete and others. I had to dress up, so I wore my little black dress I wore for Crystal Ball one year. It was alright, I didn't fit in with any of the conversations, but then again, when do I ever? I'm fine with that, I'm not into the same things as them.
But the highlight was really having my first slow dance with my boyfriend. I did have like 5 or 6 boyfriends, but I only slow danced with two, and that would be Tom and Jay, little fun fact. Yeah, sad. So this was my first slow dance that was nice, romantic, and normal. :)

Today I had work, but for some WEIRD reason got told I can leave because no one is going to drive to Narragansett to eat when it's cold and going to snow. Well, how lovely.
So I went to Mike's party and had lots and lots of fun :) filled with punch, kissing Pete a lot, food, and making fun of Anthony. I call that a great night ♥.

Hmmm, inner thoughts ...

I'm starting to think I changed a lot. I used to not argue with people over things because I never really ever posted what I thought of things, I always just didn't care. But now it seems that when I do have something to say people usually tend to either disagree and argue to the point of their eyes bleeding, or just agree and just say "yeah! I agree! I'm totally not kissing your ass or anything but I love you for thinking the same thing as me!"

I like that I'm different. I hate things people usually love, and I love myself for that.
Like ... LADY GAGA. Can't stand her, hope that Madonna kills her, honestly. For some reason, soooooo many of my friends love her and whenever I open my mouth and say that she sucks, I always get the same people saying "oh blahblahblah she's amazing!" well, if she was in fact amazing, she'd be a god, but she's not. She's a chick with a penis. That's it.

So maybe I did change, maybe I just grew out of pleasing you guys. I only need to please two people in this world and in the end it boils down to myself and my boyfriend. Liking the same things as everyone else won't matter when I'm older, because I wouldn't be original, I wouldn't be what makes me stand out from you. And for that, I love myself.

Until they ever told you how much you mean to me.
Oh you mean so much to me.
I'm thinking all the time
How to tell you what I feel
Contemplating phrases
I'm gazing at eternity.
I am floating in serenity.

-Stephy

The truth never set me free, so I did it myself.

2009-12-13T06:01:05Z

Christmas is so closeeee.

The semester is ending for me on Wednesday, how damn exciting is this? VERY EXCITING!
No more waking up early.

So I put the tree up, decorated it with my mom and pete. It was nice (:
Then in return I decorated one of his with him, there's still more to go.

I still have to buy him a Christmas gift, I have so ideas in mind. I suck at shopping for other people. I really do.

Tonight was my cousin's dance recital. It was cool, I decided I'm gonna take hip hop with them in January for the June Recital. Gonna be major fun, I get to spend more time with them and be a goof dancing. Love it.

Then we went out to eat and had a blastt making fun of Chinese food and people. Haha we're so mean. But idc. :p

I got a little sick the past few days. I have a stuffy nose. And now my lips are all chapped and my nose burns lol. A cold I guess ? Maybe ... ? (Medical opinions please).
Oh and a little loss of voice.

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day i promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin,
You, are, the only exception. ♥

-Stephy

You're all I know.

2009-11-30T03:30:47Z

Thanksgiving was an eat-fest. Went to my uncles (very awkward) and then to Pete's house (not that awkward):). Well I am pretty thankful for having Pete in my life♥, having my family, certain friends. One thing I thought a lot about though; it's weird how people from high school, people I don't talk to anymore or barely did when I was still there are chatting with me on facebook as if we were close.

It's weird. And I was thinking, maybe they're reaching out kinda, like most people nowdays bail, A LOT, and they just need a new friend. Which, hey I'm all for it and everything, it's just weird how I roamed the halls with these people, did crazy things like wearing bows on my head the week before Christmas break, and skipping down the halls after 4th lunch, and being tickle attacked by Draine, Bannon, and Cash. It's like "oh, hey, yeah I was that crazy girl.
But it's whatev. They're nice, and I did in a way grow with them, so I don't mind.

It's just funny how my old friends are such dwellers. Like they never do anything fun or exciting with their lives. It's always the same routine, classes, homework, sleep; then repeat.
That's way too bland, like coffee.
Yup you guys are all gross tasting coffee. haha.

But seriously. Then I get "you changed" crap. Uh HELLO! If you guys knew me at all, you'd know I like to do things, break the routine, break the rules, LIVE A LITTLE.
Hey it's not my fault you guys just dwell and do nothing. I like to be different. and that's probably why I have the life I have and why I'm so happy.

Anyways.

WHO'S EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?! :O
I am.
Yeah, I like the presents, I don't care about the "that's all christmas is now" speech, get over itt.
But I also like the feeling, love-ness, and the snow. (:
♥

You are all that I know.

-Stephy

New Moon, hair, and tickets.!

2009-11-23T00:38:00Z

I saw New Moon at midnight (like a REAL Twilight fan) with my boyfriend and Anthony. It was an AMAZING movie, and I had a lot of fun :), despite the fact that I found out Ant loves me. Was a little weird, but eh, I just want to forget it.
It's not like I'm gonna go for him, I'm happy where I am and I wanna stay where I am (:

Friday night me & Pete got our hair done. He cut all his off! I like it a lot, he looks cuter that way :)
I got more highlights, a darker red. I like it too. :D

We also got our tickets for Red and Saving Abel for this Friday, I can't wait! It's our anniversary that night too :)

I can't believe it's almost Christmas already. This year went by so fast, it seems like yesterday was New Years Eve. Oh well, I'm excited! I love Christmas, even though it's all about the presents now, I don't care. I don't like the hole Christian part though, eh I try to stay away from that as much as possible. I just like the feeling, it's cold out, make hot chocolate with marshmellows, and all the love. It's like an extra long Valentine's day. Me like a lottt ♥

Times like this, I love being me. I love that I have something no one else has. I love that I'm loved. It feels really nice, and like for the first time since forever, I'm meant to be some place. I feel superior for the first time haha.

-Stephy

There comes struggle to insure my insanity

2009-11-13T04:12:59Z

I'm good at keeping things to myself. I like to sometimes, it just seems easier to deal with that way. Maybe it was because I'm an only child and I never had someone that close to tell my dark secrets to. Whatever it may be, there's certain things that happened I'm keeping inside and forgetting. Moving on day to day pretending it never happened, and with pretending it just disappears over time. And that's the way I want it.

Pete and me went shopping yesterday and it was fun (:
I spent today with him too.
You're an artist; I'm a silly jerk.
I think that dynamic could work,
So work it.
I have a total crush on you, baby,
And I can't let it go, oh no.

Well duh, lol. I love him more than anything.
But I love that song.
Say Anything is just amazing ♥ I really wanna see them again when they come back to RI.
That would 3 times lol. Awesome sauce.

It must be your skin, I'm sinking in.
Must be for real, 'cause now I can feel. ♥

-Stephy

what is up with people.

2009-11-05T04:46:35Z

Whenever a girl kinda flips her top, people think of that as "she's on her period." No, I'm not. Maybe I've just about had enough of rude, excuse making, humor-less, God-obsessing, stupid people. Maybe you people just annoy the fuck out of me everyday. And I don't care what you think of me "Oh she doesn't accept me, she's not a good friend" blah blah blah. You people are the worst.

- If you love God, I don't care. Go love God away from me and not continuously on facebook. Thank you.
- If you're a rude dumbass, do not come near me or talk in my general direction. I will slap you.
- If you are so pathetic to the point where you cannot take a joke, which is sadly most of my friends, don't talk to me. I don't care if you can't take a joke, I can, and I'll crack jokes about anything you like.
- If you make excuses for just about your entire existence. Then just eat 50 cheeseburgers and die from a heart attack. I'm sure no one will miss you.
- If you are too stupid and can't understand the English language, when your native language IS English. Shut up, no one wants to listen to you babble.
- If you can not get over the fact that you still do not have a boyfriend/girlfriend, stop whining. Maybe if someone sewed your mouth shut a girl/boy would find you attractive.

I can't hold it in anymore and be nice. I can't.
I'm generally nice to everyone, but you people are cracking me, and I can be a nightmare.
Beware.

All I wanted was you.

2009-10-24T06:08:46Z

I saw Saw 6 tonight, is was awesome! I went after working 2 hours, haha, with Anthony and Pete.
Twas fun :) we walked to Thayer and just walked around aimlessly. It felt like summer again, only a lot colder. - more Romantic I guess.

I got the flu shot Thursday so I'm all weak and sick-ish. Eghh. But Pete was with me all day and it was nice :) I had lots of soup and it was soup-tastic. :D

Tuesday is Pete's birthday and I'm getting his present on Sunday at the mall. I made him something I think he'll really like too. :)

I got the whole new Paramore album, and it's so good!! I found my new favorite song. :DD

All I wanted was you.
It's like how I always wanted a good guy with everything I wanted, and of course now I have it. But it -reminds me of my ideal perfect guy for me, and well which is Pete. So I picture myself 2-years-ago-ghost screaming it. It's pretty intense lol.

Holding my breath, walking alone with you.
I get to hear you're voice again.
If this is a dream I hope you stay with me.
Stay with me, please stay with me.

-Stephy

Cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you.

2009-10-19T03:58:30Z

This weekend was a whole bundle of magical fun (:

I worked on Friday, it wasn't all that busy but steady enough to keep me going back and forth at the same pace. Some old couple was talking to me asking me about desert, and asking about me. I think they knew my mom >.> ah well.
After work I went home and made myself some yummy mac&cheese. I ate too much and it gave me a stomach ache ): but it was so good lol.

Saturday was spent with my baby. We watched Buffy at his house then went to Trails To Terror, where I screamed and grabbed him a lot. Lol. Then I slept over and that was super nice (:

Today I woke up and went home to take a shower, get back in my pj's and study my ass off for my East Asia test tomorrow. Then I watched the Pat's game, aka the massacre, and then Tool Academy.

I'm really pretty fantasically incredibly amazingly happy. Because there is a need for all those words.

If you could only see the way she loves me.
Then maybe you would understand, why I feel this way about our love and what I must do.
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says...
When she says she loves me.

-Stephy

Of so it's kinda been forever.

2009-10-15T02:18:20Z

So forever, that's realllly long.

Well, I'm not 18 anymore. Good, it was getting annoying to say "Hi, I'm 18, no you may not rape me."

I got lots of gifts (: My baby got me a camera, Edward Cullen cut out (life size), A cherry wallet, Rescue Me season 4, and a new bag (:
Then I got some moneys from my family, which I have been spending on new clothes, :D.

Well parent wise, my dad think it's cool to hunt me down for financial aid forms for either RIC or CCRI, don't know which one I wanna go to yet. Yeah it's annoying, but whatever. I want a damn car, and when I get one, I'll be little miss nice Stephy. ::throws up:: haha.

I'm pretty happy though (: a lot happier than I used to be, at least.
Things are just going, prefect. ♥

-Stephy

The rest of the world laughing, like what did he say?

2009-09-15T21:22:18Z

I hate her. I want her to die. I hate the way she's manipulating my friends. She's not a good person, she's the worst of her kind. She deserves nothing. She is nothing. She's got guts to come here.

I had to get that out.

Well I woke up this morning from a very stressful day yesterday. Too much happened in one for me to handle, and I fell apart. I'm just happy I have my friends and my boyfriend. That's all I want to have and all I care to have.
So I have a stuffy nose, and sore throat. I took some Tylenol this morning, that helped a little but I'm still stuffy and my throat isn't as bad but it's all scratchy. Eeek. :/ Lack of sleep probably didn't help either.

I keep having to sneeze...then I don't. I hate that.

Parent's are fighting again. Ugh this will never just end. 4 years now? Reallllly.
Is this really needed?

Well, your sex is on fire do do do do do.

All I know really is that I'm trying to keep myself together. I'm "strong" and I've been through enough to make me strong enough to take things like this. But how long do I have to be strong for? Months, years... I'm a tough cookie, but not that tough.

... ok this is way too serious...

My friend's got a girlfriend and he hates that bitch.
He tells me everyday.
He says "Man I really gotta lose my chick in the worst kind of way."
I like singing that. I can do it really good. When I have my voice!

-Stephy

This is school and such things.

2009-09-12T06:51:22Z

Graphic design bads: Long, MAC's, tons of supplies to buy, all older people in it.
Graphic Design goods: Working with Indesign CS4, Photoshop CS4, get to make pretty things!

16th century lit bads: No one I know, lots of reading.
16th century lit goods: nice teacher, easy assignments, not that boring.

Math 0500 bads: everything.
Math 0500 goods: nothing.
::self explanatory::

Dropped Chem. Still waiting to go to my history on monday.
Joy joy!

So I like seeing Sydney and my cousin a lot, I missed them way too much for words.
Kinda shocked of how many less people talk to me though, it's not much like last semester when I had like 2149795 people talking to me at once. Now it's more like just hey's and some conversation. Ah well.

I've been up for 2 hours applying to places for a job. Macy's, FYE, Kohl's, Avon, Pizza Hut, Target. PLEASEE GIVE MEEEE ONEEE!
Avon is a work at home kinda thing, which makes things so much easier, so hopefully I get something like that. FYE would be pretty cool too. So much Twilight stuff!
I kinda don't want to work at the restaurant every week, it's kinda a burden and it's all far and stuff. >.>

Current injuries on my body:
Burn from my straightener on my ringer finger.
Cut from a wooden chair on my other ring finger.
Blister on right ankle.
Glass cut on my left heel.
Mosquito bite on my cheek.
& a few bruises here and there.

I'm pretty banged up. :/

I can be so silly :)

-Stephy

Punching bags hit back.

2009-09-08T04:36:06Z

Don't ask about the subject line, it was a random thought that just popped into my head.
Like...butterflies?

Today (technically) is the last day of summer. HELLLOOOO AUTUMN, my favvy :).
So coming soon:
-my birthday
-a whole bunch of other birthday's
-Pete's birthday
-Halloween!
& Halloween only means one thing. Going to lots & lots of scary places. :DD
I think 'm gonna be a slutty witch with vampire fangs. Sounds, interesting, no?

And that also means November 20th is just getting closer and closer!

But anyways, now starts the putting away summer clothes and bringing out the hoodies and jeans. ♥ It's such a long process, "does this still fit?" "I never wear this anyways." Blah blah blah. Why can't we just have magic, things would be so much less stressful and time consuming.

I went to my aunts house yesterday(I guess you could say because it's past midnight) and ate some food with Pete (and I know at some point within the next few days he'll be reading this so :p.). I like the fact that she's my godmother, cause I get along with her as if she was my own mom. I'm just glad it wasn't like my auntie Julie who I never see or talk to.

Speaking of parents and such, I gotta call my dad in a few days to give him the total for my books and get money from him. Oh the joy. I usually hate asking for money from him, but I don't really anymore, he should be taking care me, he never does. Plus the fact that Beth "hates" when he spends any money on me. Gold digger.

Umm, hmm.. ::happy thoughts, happy thoughts::

Lalalalalalove you (you'll know when you read this (: ♥

-Stephy

You

2009-09-06T07:23:40Z

I cleaned my room (first time in about 3 weeks). It looks nice for a change. Of course I'll just end up throwing clothes around over the next few days making it an un-walk-able area again.
Oh well..

After all that, I went to walmart to pick up a backpack, jeans, and a card for Anthony. Ok, I know walmart is all evil and whatnot, but my backpack was $9. Every where else they're like $10-$20. So me is happy that they're evil (:

Then I went to Pete's house to relax, watch Buffy, and eat. Relaxing = good.

As far as my computer status, I need to do my cousin's play list, get Microsoft office from Scott, and get Photoshop from Pete. So we're kinda getting there. Photoshop I won't have for a few weeks, at best. But everything else is going great with this beautiful machine.
I tried out the webcam to see how it looks, it's crystal clear, picture perfect. O.O

I honestly can't wait for school to start, I've been craving to go to my Graphic Design class since I signed up. It sounds like so much fun!

Anyways, it's my Brother's birthday today and he's having a party. Can't wait to see his annoying-crying-every-second-of-the-day girlfriend. Sorry, but I just hate girls like that, yuck. Is there really a need to cry because your significant other is hanging out with two guy friends, and 1 girl? And totally flip shit? No. There's not. I hate her. lol.

I was sitting on my computer like 20 mins ago, and I was saying to myself "hey, I kinda feel like ranting right now about absolutely nothing for no reason at all."
Soo HERE I AM!!

I'm sorry but when did everyone start "loving" god, and jesus? It's like a new fad on Facebook to write in all the status updates that you "love" jesus.
I honestly don't understand it. Maybe cause I hate the Catholic chruch with all it's lying and scandals, but I don't know.
I kinda have my own personal religion. I believe there's a high power, but we're not meant to know what it is, or what happens when we die. We're just souls, and our soul goes where it wants. Like ghosts. I BELIEVE IN GHOSTS.
But anyways, I don't know why that's the new fad, it kinda weirds me out. If you love jesus so much, go back in time and marry him.
No offense to anyone, I just really don't like "god."

I think I just ranted myself out, haha.

-Stephy

Finally able to update.

2009-09-05T02:20:36Z

Well I just got a new laptop. It's an Acer 5335. & it's beautiful!!
I'm totally in love with it. :D
It has webcam ::dances::

So for the past day, I've been putting all my music, pictures, and programs all back on this new computer, which has been taking FOREVER! But it's all worth it.

School starts back up on Wednesday, yay! I get to see my cousin & Sydney everyday (:
Psyched!

I went to the Patriot's game last night with Pete. It was pretty awesome. We kick GIANTS butt!
Not until the second quarter, but hey at least we won. Eli Manning, and Peyton Manning for that matter, anger me. A lot. I just cannot stand either one. They suck. And Peyton cries when he loses against us. HAHA :p

Tomorrow is rest day, thank god.

-Stephy

Changess.

2009-08-27T18:42:05Z

So the last two days were spent with Pete at his house.
I slept over on Tuesday, watched him play Dead Rising. & watched a lot of Rescue Me (:
Then yesterday we spent pretty much the whole day sleeping in, took a shower together, and just relaxed. It was really nice (:
Then last night we went to his mom's salon to get our hair done. He got his cut short-long-ish, it's wicked sexy (; pics are on my facebook & myspace.
I got mine highlighted a light brown-red. It looks awesome! And not to mention she gave me the new Paul Mitchell Pro straightener, for free!
I love his mom! lol

Today I'm getting a new laptop from my dad. All I know is that it's a Dell. So I'm realllly excited!

My life has been going really good, I couldn't be happier :D

-Stephy

Hey forever.

2009-08-25T05:21:10Z

So summer's coming to an end. Soon :(
Nothing really big happened.
I went to Canobie Lake Park for Krystal's birthday a few weeks ago.
Been to EVERY waterfire so far.
I'm going to Six Flags next week, thankfully (:

Desperately waiting for a car. & money for a new laptop.
My disc drive is dead. Sad face :(
And it's gonna be out the window very soon. Literally.

OhOH! I work again! lol Bus girl...again...for my grandpa's NEW restaurant...again.
No change there.
It's been so hard to find a regular non-family job. Oh well...

So school in the fall is gonna kick my ass. I have morning & night classes. Which means I will die in homework, papers, and blegh!

Been with Pete everyday, which has been great :) :).
BIG happy facee!

Frame by frame we begin to change skeletons and robot brains.
She found a book that writes itself, that plays it all upon a stage,
Over and over again, over and over again,
Where is the end?

-Stephy

4th.

2009-07-08T06:04:59Z

4th of July was awesome.
My dad had a party and me & Pete went to it, ate some food, went for a walk. It was a gorgeous day! Then later we met up with Candace, Shane, and Lauren to go watch the fireworks on the parkway. They were amazing fireworks, not as good as EP's, but pretty close. After that was over we all went to the water fire. We sat on the grass next the waterplace restaurant, and it was so romantic. :) Then after a little while we all went home, Pete drove me home of course and we stayed in his car until 5 am talking. It was the most romantic day I have ever had. :DD

Monday I laid on and tanned all day and went in the pool. Pete came over and went for a quick swim, then we went out to eat with Anthony, his gf and her firends, and Seth. It was pretty nice. :) Then after we went back to Seth's house and went skinny dipping in the reservoir lol. It was a lot of fun! My first time ever doing that. Then me and Pete came back to my house and he gave me a back massage and he massaged my scalp. It felt sooo good! So unbelievably relaxing!

He gave me another one tonight, oh my god, it gets better every time!!

Bur during all this I realize how lucky I am to have someone like him. He's nothing like any of my other boyfriends. He actually took me out on a real date, walks me to my door, opens doors for me. He's amazing, & I fell for him, hard. <3

-Stephy

I think I'm gonna fall again.

2009-07-01T04:54:16Z

Switching to Verizon this week, going on a family plan with my Daddy. Which means, I'll have a new number. So ask for it :)

I'm kinda lonely....

Remember me, she said smiling.
Write my name somewhere safe.
Touch and taste.
Fades with space.
I'll never be who you'll dream.

-Stephy

I just want to be a woman.

2009-06-21T06:49:39Z

My aunt got married, I'm so happy for her :)

The whole day I was pretty much thinking about what my wedding would be like. I want to have mine at a park next a beach, summer, at the exact time the sunsets I want to say "I do." I want candles EVERYWHERE. I think it's perfect. :)

-Stephy

Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this.

2008-11-17T01:53:07Z

I drove again with my Dad today. I drove to Circut city, practiced parking, aced it (: Then when back to Citizen's Bank in Riverside, parked, not that bad. Then went to Shaw's, parked, aced it (:
I love that I'm doing so good. :D

I figured because I'm such a good daughter, I'd do something to help my Mom out.
I took the Sharp Vac in my basement and cleaned all the floors, rugs, in both rooms. I know if she did it, it would take an entire day, along with her working. Save her the time & energy. (:

Friday night me, Jay, Cam, & Maggie went bowling all night (: That was soooo much fun!
I love bowling, even though we suck lol. :P

So I'm a little confused about what to do with these songs sitting on my computer for someone else, who by the way never talks to me. I want to delete them, & I should. It's my computer & deleting them will be a nice big "Thank You" for never being there, when your supposedly a "best friend."
Jay says not to delete them just yet. I think I should wait another week, then if there's nothing, I'll delete them.
I'm not gonna be the bank that gives you money when you want it anymore. Sorry.

Well I should start working on my paper for Marriage & Family. It's due December 3rd. Uh oh :X

Tiger ♥♥♥!!

-Stephy

Something True.

2008-11-14T06:22:13Z

For Christmas I asked Jay to get me Photoshop.
The other night I had a dream that he get me a promise ring instead.
When I woke up I reminded him to look at school to see if they had it.
That night we got into a big fight. We both said things out of anger that we didn't mean, & never would mean. Something weird, but really cute happened.
He was telling me he thinks this is it, this could be the way he wants to spend the rest of his life.
Kinda weird that I dream it, while we both feel it huh?

I thought the thought of giving my life to someone would be a scary moment, a big decision, & an unsure feeling. I was wrong... I feel the total opposite.
I mean I don't want to get married now, but just thinking about it now. & thinking about it is making me very happy.

I love him ♥

-Stephy

Maybe I'll grow old, but I will die.

2008-11-08T05:58:30Z

I see things, just about everything working out for the better of me. It's shocking for it to all be happening at once, but it's giving me more confidence & make me a lot happier.
I've been kinda down about stuff. About friends who I had in high school, who have moved on with their life's and don't talk to me much anymore or try to get together with me. I felt like I only had Jay & Lauren, who is in Maryland for college. I felt alone & not myself at all. Very Anti-Stephy.

Now... I see my Dad stepping back into my life, helping me to learn to drive, talking to me more, goofing on people with me. Very much like he used to. & I'm loving every bit of it. Not to mention this confidence is helping to drive a lot better than I used to last year. I'm pretty good at it.
-I see me & Jay improving the fire in our relationship♥. I feel like we've both improved in our flaws & made more room for the love instead of the fight.
-I see me & my Mom getting along a lot better. I've been spending a lot of time with her & I think she's starting to learn that I'm more responsible & she's taking the whole big 18 thing well.
-I see my grades improving in school, from 80's to 90's. Improving my GPA & it's making me excited & boosting my confidence level.
-I see that moving away from Riverside will show me who really wants to be friends with me, who is willing to take the time to call me & make plans with me. The availability factor that "I'm here in Riverside" won't be there anymore. & I think it'll make my relationships with Jay, friends, & my Dad a lot stronger, that is if they want to have anything to do with me (Obvi Jay & my Dad do lol.)

I feel a lot better about myself and what surrounds me. I'm comfortable (:

10 months on Monday (:
I love you so much ♥

-Stephy

"Everything happens for a reason.."

2008-10-13T06:00:38Z

Well I'm 18.
I guess that means I'm an adult, but I feel no different.

A lot of crappy things have happened the last few weeks.
I don't know where I'm going to live in a month.
Me & Jay have been to hell & back.
& I feel like I'm just too nice to people.

I know fighting is normal, I grew up around my parents throwing plants, knocking down the Christmas tree, & throwing birthday cakes on the floor. I've always hated it, can't stand fighting. But nobody is perfect, & we realized we have things to improve on.
I lost one love, my dad, to fighting, hating, & just plain stupidity. I don't want to lose another love to the same thing. He means to much to me & I love him to much to let the fire burn out. I'll fight for you..♥.

I think I'm a good friend, I always put myself out for people, always help people when they need it. I leave my phone on 24/7 for that reason. If anything should happen to anyone & they needed someone to talk to, I'm there. I'm a very forgiving friend & I think sometimes I let people walk on me.
I don't know why I do, I just don't play that dirty game. I think I give too much for people, & they take it for granted. That I need to change.

I love him so much ♥

-Stephy